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Teachers Remember:
"My Most Memorable Holiday Gift"

from MiddleWeb listserv

A MiddleWeb Listserv conversation

MiddleWeb Editor John Norton enlisted the help of MiddleWeb listserv members to share their most memorable holiday gift received from a student. The discussion proved to be inspiration to all. Some of our listserv members' comments were used in a Washington Post feature story.

Veteran list members will remember Laura Sessions Stepp, the Washington Post columnist and feature writer who eavesdrops on our list chats from time to time. Laura once again needs your help for a story she's writing. Here's her question. Please post your answers to the List so we can all hear and share! (Be sure to include your name. Laura will contact you by email if she'd like to use what you share or talk to you further.)

- John

What are some of the Christmas gifts you most remember getting from your students? Why were those particular gifts special?

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Laurie told readers of a time when a Christmas gift came in the form of a Chanukah gift.

You are going to find this very strange, but one of the best gifts I ever received was a toaster oven! I was given one this year for Chanukah.

I had been working with the sister of a boy I taught several years ago, and had been telling her mom I really needed to buy a new toaster oven because my old one wasn't working right, and I was afraid I was going to start a fire! Unfortunately things had been so hectic at school I hadn't had a chance to buy one...The next week a large package was delivered to my room with a beautiful Chanukah card attached. I was so touched!

This was not just any toaster oven; it was the top-of-the-line Toastmaster Toaster Oven that broiled, baked and defrosted as well as toasted! I sat in my room totally speechless, crying because of her family's thoughtfulness. The card said, "We thank God every day for all you have done for our children." That card is a keeper.

- Laurie

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Lea shared her story.

What a neat question! I can't wait to hear everyone's responses! I actually received my most special present this week. I have a student that is emotionally disturbed and has serious attachment issues. School has never been his favorite place to be. He is smaller than most 7th graders and has been the subject of teasing in the past due to his size and sometimes to his lack of hygiene. He has a really hard time with most adults, usually because many get frustrated with his lack of effort. He's in my homeroom and LA classes this year and from day one he has attached himself to me. At first it was hard to deal with because he was always underfoot, but after learning more about his situation, I realized that if he liked me, I then needed to make every effort to be there for him. He is a funny kid who is always finding out silly facts to share with me or he's telling me about his collections, etc.

On Monday, he came up to me and whispered in my ear, "I bought you a present this weekend! Do you want to know what it is? I spent $2 of my own money on it!" I was nearly in tears and I told him that no, I want to wait until next week when school ends to know what it is. On Tuesday after school, he dashed into my room clutching his backpack and said, "I'm putting it on your desk." I was on my way to the library to wrap presents that we had collected and I didn't get back to my room for a few hours. When I made it back in there, I saw this lump of bubble wrap on my desk and I opened it. Inside I found a light blue resin moose. I collect moose and my room is filled with presents from previous students. However, this one is so special to me because of who it came from and the fact that he strongly dislikes most adults. He's got a special place in my heart!

- Lea

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Elizabeth, a middle school principal, described a recent gift that continues to bless her.

This question brought a smile to my face and brought back a WONDERFUL memory. I have been a teacher since 1971. I am now a middle school principal in a wonderful school with a great staff and students....that's a GIFT in and in itself! :-)

I had been teaching for ten years at the same school. I had been there long enough to see my students graduate, go on to college or join the working world, some get married and begin a family. One of my former students who, at that time, was in her early 20s, invited me to a pre-Christmas party. She and her husband had just moved into their first home and were expecting. I decided to go!

Please understand that most my students at that time were some of the "burnt outs" of the school, but held a special place in my heart. They were bright, spirited and interesting, but school just wasn't number one on their hit parade.

So, off I went to the party. There I found a number of former students, their brothers and sisters whom I had also had in class, their spouses and "spices" and some there with their children. There were almost 70 people gathered! As I looked at the faces and recalled them as middle school students (and remembered some of their antics then and as high school students) I was so proud of what I saw before me.

EVERY single one of them had done something productive with their lives. Some had gone on to good jobs. Some had gone on to college. Most had found wonderful people with whom to share their lives. Some were starting families of their own. This was this gift they gave me on that evening...that they had grown into productive, responsible adults. I was so proud of each and every one of them.

There have been many times during my teaching and administrative career when I have wondered WHY I spend so much time working with kids...sometimes without seeming results...and will they ever "get it."
When I think those thoughts I go back in my memory to that time and that December evening when I was able to truly see, in some small part, the "fruits" of my labor!

In teaching we don't always receive immediate gratification or even an occasional "thank you." But its times like this one particular evening that make it VERY worthwhile for me!

- Elizabeth

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Brenda responded to Elizabeth's story.

I just wanted to say how blessed I was by your story, Elizabeth. I too have wondered if my efforts are impacting the kids I work with day after day. As middle school teachers I think we are often the "sowers" and other get to reap what has been sowed during these challenging years. How wonderful that you were able to see the fruits of your labors!

- Brenda

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Elizabeth expressed her gratitude.

Brenda and others who have responded to this entry on the list....

Thank you for your kind words. To this day I am fortunate to still keep in touch with a number of these "kids" who are now sending me e-pictures of their GRANDCHILDREN!!! :-) The one thing that I didn't mention in my previous post is that the party took place on December 21st, which happens to be my birthday. This group of former students had planned this as a surprise party, and it certainly was!! I was moved beyond words, and am still today (except for this e-mail, of course...he he!) that they would have done this. It truly was "that one shining moment" and, ya know.... it had nothing to do with state standards and achievement tests!! But a whole lot to do with people, relationships and feelings.

Happy holidays to all!

- Elizabeth

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Ellen shared a gift she will never forget.

The best gift I ever got from a student was a cheap, black plastic jewelry box from a boy named Rodney Kennedy. He was one of those kids with a constant gleam in his eye, always up to something. We had gone a few rounds and finally made peace. The week before Christmas he presented me with a wrapped package and eagerly watched as I opened it.

It was so clear that he wanted me to like it, that he had spent some time picking it out. This from a boy who didn't have much in the way of money, who I didn't think I was getting through to. It was clear to me at that moment I *was* making a difference.

Rodney died the year afterwards when he was hit by a car. I wrote an entry that year about him for MiddleWeb. That black plastic jewelry box is a symbol of everything I strive for in my classroom, and it reminds me to keep trying even when it seems all is lost.

- Ellen

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Although Deborah received her memorable gift a number of years ago, the pride and delight she felt for the student giver was still fresh and alive!

One of the best gifts that I ever received was from a family whose children were extraordinarily talented in art and no slouches in the brains department either. Their mother was the wellspring of all of that talent. First, she gave me the gift of Noah, her oldest son, to teach in my first hour classroom. Also, the mom created a basket which contained a stuffed bear wearing a crown, Birkenstock sandals, beads, innovative "Deborah Bova" type clothes and -- in its paws was "The Queens' Book of English" a tiny book the mom had created along with the bear, etc. The basket was filled with all manner of ceramic shoes and boots (I have 80 pairs --at least) and other queenly trivia that replicated my classroom and my signature eccentricities.

Long ago my students dubbed me the "queen of English" and this bear, in her royal togs replete with queenly buttons on the back of her outfit, reflected that... right down to my dabs of blusher on her royal face. Her son, Noah, the first of her children that I worked with, was hearing impaired. She had only allowed him to leave the safety of the "class for hearing impaired" students that year. Noah was a sooo ready for the regular classroom ...tentative and nervous at first, he finished the first semester with an essay based on the line from Stephen Vincent Benet's "By the Waters of Babylon" which Noah entitled "Man... he eats knowledge too fast."

Noah is now a senior in a high school of 3000 and holds many leadership positions. He has done so well. His mom watched this wonderful child, a flower, open and bloom in my classroom, and I had the pleasure of watering him and watching him grow... all because she took the risk and gave him his wings while giving me the privilege of teaching him.

- Deborah

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Bill described an event where he witnessed student-led gift giving at its best.

This actually happened in a high school, and so doesn't really relate to Ms. Stepp's story (sorry!). But I want to share it anyway!

At the banquet on the last day of school before winter vacation, Kate, one of the lead singers in the rock band, came running up to me yelling "Do you know what I have? Do you know what Nicole gave me?" In fact, I did... Nicole, the bass player, had quietly confided to me that she had managed to get Kate a signed photo from the singer Jewel, Kate's idol, and was going to give it to her just before our concert. "Can I bring it up on stage and have it with me? Can I say something to the audience?" She could.

So we were up on stage and Kate said - I can still remember this pretty much verbatim though it was three years ago now - "I want to tell you about something that our bass player did for me (Nicole began to cringe in delight and embarrassment). I have something up here, and you people should be honored, you should be so honored because you are in the presence of greatness. I have (and she pulled it out from behind a music stand) Jewel's autograph here (the crowd went wild). This is my life. This is my life. So, we're going to do a little tribute here."

We were particularly proud of our arrangement of this piece. Along with Jenice, the drummer, Nicole had taken the lead sheet and a few of my suggestions and had worked out a part that was a thing of beauty, simultaneously foundation and harmony. Cass, the other lead singer, was learning how to write harmonies and had written a part which was so gorgeous I was tempted to send it off to Jewel in case she wanted to use it in a concert. Abby, Ann and Mollie, our other three drummers, contented themselves with adding congas and other percussion instruments into the mix to give extra energy to the chorus, which I finger picked my electric guitar, winding among the kids and letting the harmony emerge from the memory of sounds just played. And Kate - Kate had been singing at "Open Mic. Nights" for over a year at that point in time, and was well on her way to a professional career.

With the extra energy from Kate's introduction (and perhaps from the picture?) and the audience's reaction, everything coalesced into one of those perfectly focused moments of community where you are absolutely in the present yet moving forward together. And the words from the bridge section, "In the end only kindness matters" combine with the handprints of two Stoneleigh-Burnham students they created for a benefit concert the previous spring in one of my favorite images on my website.

- Bill

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Mendy shared a moment of humor.

My favorite present was a broom and dustpan. Our relationship had been rocky until I caught on to his quirky sense of humor. He strolled in the Thursday before break with "my new transportation", we all rolled laughing.

- Mendy

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Sometimes we are receivers of giftssometimes we are the givers. Laurie described a time when her colleagues took part in a spontaneous gift-giving moment that made a difference.

I had to share this heartwarming story with you:

I have a young girl this year, a 6th grader, who lives with her grandparents who have custody, because her mother gave her up as a baby...Every year for her birthday and Christmas she waits for her mother to acknowledge her with a card, gift or phone call. Every year she is disappointed.

This year, now that she is a preteen, the hurt has turned to anger because her mother told her she will give her a gift, "Maybe in March." Her grandmother is a lovely and hard-working woman, but does not have a lot of money. Her grandfather has a heart condition...I shared this story with her teachers, who said, "Why can't we be her Santa?" This idea took off and several other teachers, as well as our female custodian, who has developed a friendship with her (they both have the same name!), wanted to become Santa's elves.

My math co-teaching colleague, who is a great shopper, went out with me yesterday to the local mall, and we found 7 tops and assorted pants, bath gel and body spray. Another colleague, who I work with, but who doesn't have this student, told me she "bought too much for my own daughter", and would like to contribute a deluxe Barbie doll house complete with Barbie. This tough, angry girl, still loves to play with Barbies...She is now going to be one busy child Christmas morning.

I am sitting here writing this touched by the kindness, thoughtfulness, and generosity of my colleagues. To quote the grandmother, who cried when I told her what we are doing: "You guys are so wonderful! Please tell all of the little elves I thank them from the bottom of my heart."

Happy Holidays to all of you,

- Laurie

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Wendy was touched to receive gifts that were chosen with her specific tastes and interests in mind.

My most memorable gifts were usually things the kids made for me- hand painted salt & pepper shakers that matched my kitchen. The student kept asking me what my kitchen looked like for a few weeks before Christmas. When I got my gift I understood why. They are used all the time and I fondly think of that student.

Other gifts are ones where they actually thought about my interests and gave me something for my classroom. I love frogs. So I always get some adorable frog gifts. We also do dissection in my class in 6th grade so one year a student gave me a frog that was see through and you could see all of its organs. I LOVE IT!! Another one was a student who remembered what I drank after lunch everyday (coffee with Hersheys' chocolate syrup) And he gave me a pound of coffee and a bottle of chocolate syrup with a new mug. I was really touched!! The cards are also very valuable to me especially when they write a personal note. I save every single one!

- Wendy

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Ginny shared a memory.

One special gift that touched me was the year I found a neatly wrapped Easter mug on my desk. I puzzled for a minute and then realized the mug had a proverb on it. A few minutes later the mother of the student came by to explain that her son insisted on this particular gift as we had spent four days discussing and comparing African and American proverbs and he "just knew it would be just what I needed". Aren't middle schoolers fun?

- Ginny

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Lori's willingness to make a new student feel comfortable resulted in a response of gratitude.

My favorite gift was from a student I had only had a few weeks but chose to spend most lunches with me in my room working on homework. She gave me a mug that is quite misshapen and says on it "this morning this mug was normal, them somebody bugged me!" Beth said she hoped it was ok to continue to "bug" me at lunch now and then and for the most part she stopped coming to my room for lunch. I think actually she made some close friends and had someone else to share lunch with. I asked a couple of times but never really got an answer but apparently she needed somewhere to feel comfortable as she got used to our school and my room was that place.

I can't say Beth never stopped in but it was not every day anymore and often not even every week. I did use the mug often however and it was sitting on my desk most days with the remnants of hot tea from lunch inside when she came to class last period. She also nominated me for "Teacher of the Year" later that spring. I did not win but it did make me feel good.

- Lori

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Alisha's touching story described how her classroom became a refuge for a troubled student.

I have only been teaching three years, but I already have a favorite. One particular student in my first year came to me every morning for breakfast.

Things at home were rough and my room was a safe place to be. It became a morning ritual. There were days when he would get himself into trouble and beg to come to my room so he could sit and work in peace and quiet. Last Christmas, he brought me a bag filled with wonderful things. Just to mention a few, he brought my favorite pop tarts, a Dr. Pepper, some notebook paper, pencils. (All things he was constantly "borrowing" from me!) Also, in the bag was a turtle (I collect them).

Although all these things were nice...the gift that got me was the towels. I struggled until I read the note which said..."I know you'll understand everything else in the bag, but I want you to know the towels are important. You are forever taking care of me and helping to clean up my messes. The next time you use the towel remember I appreciate everything you do for me! Thank you!"

That's my favorite Christmas gift from a student!

- Alisha

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Nancy's posting described an unforgettable gift.

For one wonderful year and part of another, I taught English 8 in Cosby School, Cocke County, Tennessee. One sweet little boy brought me a huge sack of black walnuts. He had told me stories about his mother living in a cave (yes, you read that right) when she was growing up. Stevie didn't have much, but he went to a lot of trouble and time, as his blackened hands proved.

- Nancy

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Realizing that we have impacted students is one of the best gifts we can receive. Kelly told readers of one such moment.

My best Christmas gift came this year, my 4th in the profession. It was a simple card that a student signed and she added this message. "Thank you so much for all the great books you have let me read."

At the start of the year, she was not much of a reader, but I recommended "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson, and since then she has been gobbling up every other book that I have suggested.
My best present is a student thanking me for "letting" her read great books!

- Kelly

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Kasey shared a story of a treasured gift.

Well, even though it wasn't from a student, my story is still teacher related.

Seven years ago today, I buried my mother. She had passed of cancer. She was the baby in the family. My aunt, the oldest of 5, was a teacher. In fact, she was the first in the family, but now has a long line of nieces that followed.

Anyway, she retired from teaching first grade a few years ago and decided to pass her goodies on to her teacher relatives. She sent me a Christmas card and letter, apologizing that she didn't have anything appropriate for middle school, but she did find this...

It was a letter that my 5 year old mother had written to her when she left for college. Of course, it was full of scribbles and a pencil drawing of my mother and her sister together. She had written her name with backwards letters and placed a big lipstick kiss on the outside with a red heart. What a gift!

Imagine my aunt having that after all of these years. Ironically, I am from a very small town. My mother and father lived only "hollering distance" apart. They went to elementary in a one-room schoolhouse just down the road.

And....my aunt was their teacher.

- Kasey

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Linda wrote about an imaginative gift that she received.

My best student gift was an oversized mug with a can of Campbell's soup, crackers, and a candy bar inside. Tied to this was a $10.00 gift certificate to a local book store with the instructions to: Take some time over vacation to read a book of your choice while eating. It was great, and I still use the mug most Saturdays in the winter.

- Linda

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Some gifts continue to give years after they've been received. Brenda's story illustrates how.

I hope it's OK, but I'd like to share a Christmas gift one of my teaching colleagues received several years ago from a students' family.

During the last few weeks of December Linda's mother was dying. Right up until the last day of school, she answered each call at school thinking it would be the hospital. She made a valiant effort to juggle teaching, being a mom to three kids and a caring daughter visiting the hospital daily. A few days before the last day of school, a parent came to me and told me that she wanted to handle Christmas dinner for Linda's family.

She asked me to tell Linda that it would arrive at her house at 5:00
Christmas Day (and I wasn't to tell her who was doing it). On Christmas
Day, true to her word, a taxi arrived at Linda's door with a complete turkey dinner, potatoes, salad, vegetables, and pie. It came from a local hotel. Linda was able to spend a large part of that day at the hospital with her mom, knowing that dinner would happen. Her mom died two days after Christmas.

Linda eventually found out who the lady was. I still teach with Linda and not a year goes by that we don't talk about that generous gift. She will remember it for the rest of her life.

- Brenda

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Debbie's story contained an important message.

My best gift wasn't the prettiest one and it wasn't the one with a heartfelt note either. My best gift was the tiny plastic, battery operated clock with a frame next to it. In the frame, my sixth grade student had placed his school picture.

The reason this gift touched my heart so much is a sad one. I did not know the student's name. I was teaching 310 students as a new prep ( specials) teacher and I was having a very hard time doing it , despite my experience and previous success. This young man's gift taught me how important it is to know all your students. He reminded me that teachers shouldn't have class loads that mean they still don't know everyone's names in Dec.

I cried coming home in the car on that day, but I renewed my commitment to the fight for smaller schools and a personalized education for all children, even those in large, urban districts. Jamie's clock and picture sits by my desk today as a constant reminder of the children who suffer as a result of our well organized systems of schooling...

- Debbie

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The days after 9/11 carried many touching stories. Michelle's unforgettable gift was one such story.

I have enjoyed reading about your best Christmas gifts. They've made me smile & touched my heart. Here's one of my favorites: Last year, shortly after 9/11, the father of one of my students lost his job as a pilot for Continental. He immediately reenlisted in the Air Force. What a frightening time for that family!

Fortunately he was able to come home for Christmas. He paid a visit to our school agreeing to speak to his daughters' classes. He told us all about the United States' efforts to supply food to the people of Afghanistan. (It was a good lesson in humanity.) He had many visual aides - one of which was my Christmas present. Along with his flight hear was a bright yellow box. He had wrapped my gift to resemble the food drop boxes that the U.S. was using. At the end of his presentation he asked me to open my gift in front of the class. They all howled with laughter when I opened my very own Paratrooper Barbie. He told me that he saw her in the PX (I think that's what its called) and thought of me.

I was touched. His daughter was so excited by this gift because she said I would always remember her and her family. Barbie remains in the box but has a prominent place in our family room!! (I'm still trying to figure out why Barbie made him think of me!?!)

- Michelle

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Juli shared her favorite gift.

Last July I got my "best Christmas gift ever." It didn't come all wrapped up in beautiful paper or from an expensive store but by way of a little first grade girl.

"Terry wants to thank you for teaching him how to read," she said as we worked in our school garden harvesting tomatoes. And then she gave me a big hug. "He wants you to know how happy he is to go to middle school."

Her older brother, Terry, had just graduated from our Literacy Focus class and had been in danger of not passing his reading benchmarks. With an incredible effort on his part, he was able to finish the year successfully.

Wow...it's great to be a teacher!

- Juli

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Annie's favorite gift illustrates the strong connection established between her students and her.

Four years ago I was one of the original teachers at the brand new (now four years old) magnet performing arts public school I teach in. There are three of us "originals" left, with some new ones. Four years ago I was assigned to teach the 5th grade self-contained. We became very close as a class, spending 4-5 hours a day together.

The next year I was assigned to teach social studies, grades 5-8. My bond with those first 5th graders has remained strong. Now four years later they are 8th graders and about to graduate. They are our first class to have gone all four years. As we are preparing for our Christmas show, the last one this group will perform, everyone is emotional. We can't imagine the school without this group: they have been there from day one, for four years. I have seen shy, awkward, scared 5th graders turn into wonderful, confident, talented 8th graders.

Our choir director has chosen to perform "Carol of the Bells" this year, my favorite Christmas song, one I sung in my high school choir and one I've been begging her to do for four years! She has asked me to sing with the 8th grade on this song, the last Christmas show they will have, the original class of our school, the students I am closest to. This is my best ever Christmas gift.

- Annie

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Carolyn's gift to her students ended up being a gift that she was blessed by herself.

This is my second year teaching. My best gift so far just happened on Saturday. I invited four girls over to bake holiday cookies. After all the "you are rich" comments (oh yeah, if they could see my balance to bills ratio and understand...) we got down to business.

We made 16 dozen cookies: sugar cut outs and decorated were the favorite. When all was said and done one girl asked me "Can I take a couple home?" "A couple," I replied. "No, whatever you made is yours to take." They were so shocked that I wanted to spend time with them, was offering them as many cookies as they wanted and then on top of that they took them home on a dollar store silver platter. One said to me "This is the best ever. I never made "real" cookies before."

I so enjoyed their company. What was really neat was to blend in the background and just listen to them talk about their lives and having them get to know one another. I think they figured out they have more in common then they thought. And my hope is that they will now say hi to each other in the halls, instead of going about their business. I will treasure the delight and excitement of this day for a long time.

- Carolyn

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Cossondra shared a memory.

Last Christmas, as students were giving me beautiful wrapped candles, homemade candies, etc...one girl handed me a card, looking very embarrassed. When I opened it, it started with an apology, saying she was sorry she could not afford to give me a real gift. But it went on to thank me for being her teacher - for all the extra things I had done (and she listed some) and also to thank me for always treating her the same way as I did the popular kids. She said most teachers have favorites and they are always the same kids, but never her, but she said I treated her and everyone else like they were all special.20 A very humbling gift... one I will always treasure.

- Cossondra

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John pointed readers to Laura Stepp's Washington Post story.

You can read Laura Stepp's story about teachers' favorite Christmas gifts here.

Laura asked me to post this note to everyone on the List who shared their stories:

"Many thanks to all of you who contributed to this story. I had too many entries to use, which is simple proof of how many of you care deeply about your students and have been touched by them. Each one of you, whether quoted or not, helped shape my thinking. Indeed, you gave me the confidence that I was on to a good story. I am very grateful, and wish you all a happy holiday."

Laura Sessions Stepp

Thanks for helping out. You've proven once again that this virtual professional community is unusually powerful, and folks who listen in know it!

- John

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Elizabeth added a few comments.

And may I add what FUN this was and to work back and forth through e-mail with Laura! I am constantly amazed at the power of the Internet!

It was wonderful to read her completed article. But most of all, this discussion thread and the article brought back some wonderful memories for me! (See Elizabeth's story in Laura's article.)

Thanks, John and Laura! :-)

Happy holidays to all!!!

- Elizabeth

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Debbie wrapped this string off by thanking all the readers who shared their special Christmas memories.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their best gifts. I heard the music in Bill's, and smelled the dinner that Brenda wrote about. I just finished a rough graduate class on Thursday night and was feeling pretty exhausted. Thanks for the sharing and the energy, this list and catching back up with all of you was just what I needed!

Happy Holidays!

- Debbie

Teachers Remember: "My Most Memorable Holiday Gift"

Teachers Remember:
"My Most Memorable Holiday Gift"